[There's a long, long pause before she answers,/small>]
She is the Lady Alicent Hightower, Queen Dowager. Late second wife to King Viserys I Targaryen. She has three sons and one daughter, and two grandchildren thus far.
[But Silver didn't ask for titles and heritage. She stares at the text for a long moment] She is proud. She is our mother, so of course we love her. She loves us, in her own way. She has expectations of how things should be. I fear she is frequently disappointed in my brothers. I don't believe she ever wanted to become queen, as I did not. But we don't get a say in how these things go.
My half-sister and her used to be quite good friends when they were young, I hear. My half-sister was to me the queen after my father passed, but my mother says that he's changed his mind on his deathbed.
[but that said:]I do miss my children though. I had twins, a boy and a girl. My greatest joys. I know she and my husband will watch over my children well while I'm gone.
Also, the dragonlet sounds very cute. I wonder if they exist here? I've yet to see a sea here but surely there must be one somewhere. Were you a sailor?
[ well, that pause alone tells him that he has, quite by accident, asked a question more complicated than he meant for it to be. but this is valuable information; so is the fact that she starts with facts and not sentiment.
and even when she continues into a description... well, there is a lot to unpack there, isn't there? the implication they love her because it is expected, to love their mother, but not necessarily for who she is. she has expectations; how to act, what is proper and what isn't, he assumes, given that she said her mother would disapprove of menial work. "disappointed in my brothers" — but not her, not helaena. her favourite child, then? because they both share the burden of being queen without wanting to, or for a different reason?
and then there's the mention of the half-sister — by this point, he already knows that to mean rhaenyra. it gives him insight into how it all started: so rhaenyra was supposed to rule, and then her father changed her mind about succession. did the lady alicent lie about it? had it really happened? he has only speculation. ]
I see. I'm sorry, but I can't help but be curious - why would she be disappointed in your brothers... but not you, I gather?
I believe I've met your half-sister. She seems a formidable woman.
I don't know, but I will keep an eye out while I'm at the docks. And yes, I was. You can ask your brother for more details.
[ because, so far, everyone else but aemond thinks him a cook on a merchant ship — but this puts him in a rather awkward position here, not entirely certain if he can tell helaena the truth, and yet equally uncertain whether lying to her would mean betraying aemond's trust. so he will leave the choice in aemond's hands — to either tell helaena the truth about him being a pirate... or continue the story he's told so many others, the story aemond had agreed to support. ]
I suspect because I am her only daughter. There is a bond between mother and daughter that is different between mother and son. I suspect she is disappointed in me, too, for not being the daughter she would have liked, but she still tries. It's not her fault, it is mine. I am very different from others. I don't like to touch or be touched, and I'm sure she would like to hug me more. I don't like it being forced on me. I have a difficult time looking people in the eye. I say strange things and have my dragon dreams. I don't think our mother quite believes in them. My husband calls me 'an enduring mystery.' He does not mean it kindly.
The men of our family have dragon's blood that runs very hot. Our mother is not Targaryen, so I don't think she quite understands. I am different from my brothers in every way, so she feels closer to me.
But it's alright. I have forgiven them both already, for what has happened and for what will.
[Appropriately ominous statement out of the way, she continues:] Be mindful. Not of Rhaenyra exactly, she is an honorable woman despite what rumors might say. What Aemond might say. But be mindful of telling Aemond that you have met or are meeting with her. He will get upset. But I do urge you to get to know us all.
[ well. there is a lot to unpack there, again — it seems helaena answers fully when she does, and he vows to himself to remember this, remember and perhaps use it to his advantage, but also to try and protect her against it ever being used against her. ]
First and foremost... I am sorry that you have been made to feel like how you are is somehow not a good thing to be. There's nothing bad about being different, my lady.
But thank you for answering me honestly. I will remember that. [ that she did so, and all that she said, too. ]
I haven't told him that, yet. But I wouldn't lie to him, either.
[ he writes the words, and only after stops to think that he means them — which is frankly terrible, but he's going to circle back to that later. for now, ]
I swore to stand by him. My loyalty doesn't waver because I have talked to your sister. I'm only trying to understand the whole picture so that I might help him better. He will see the truth of that... eventually.
[Huh. She's not sure anyone's ever said that to her before and she's not entirely sure what to do with that or the emotion it causes, so she's going to do the proper Targeryen thing and box it up somewhere to ignore.]
[ john silver's casually delivered lines: 2, the greens: 0 —
but lord, that sure is a question. ]
Not much. Rather, not as much as I suspect there is to tell. That Rhaenyra is the firstborn, that she was supposed to rule, but your brother was crowned instead. That to rule she needs to be rid of all of you, and so war is unavoidable. That just about sums it up.
I suppose that is true enough. Her anger is understandable about it. I don't believe she'd need be rid of all of us. It would be easier if she could set her own pride aside for the sake of the realm itself, but that would be as likely as asking Aemond to do so.
Do not feel the need to embroil yourself in family matters. Here, such things shouldn't matter as much. I'm happy to be content and learn the new things I can. My brother and the rest of my family will have a much harder time of it.
There will be enough time to rush into the inevitable once we are back home. It's nice to take this time away and get better perspective of things, however little it might do.
Isn't it funny, how the thing that has most often felled empires is not great armies or strategy, but pride?
And I appreciate you saying so, my lady, as I appreciate you being willing to be rid of the war, here... but as long as my soul is bound to your brother's, I am embroiled in your family matters, whether I want it or not.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
She is the Lady Alicent Hightower, Queen Dowager. Late second wife to King Viserys I Targaryen. She has three sons and one daughter, and two grandchildren thus far.
[But Silver didn't ask for titles and heritage. She stares at the text for a long moment] She is proud. She is our mother, so of course we love her. She loves us, in her own way. She has expectations of how things should be. I fear she is frequently disappointed in my brothers. I don't believe she ever wanted to become queen, as I did not. But we don't get a say in how these things go.
My half-sister and her used to be quite good friends when they were young, I hear. My half-sister was to me the queen after my father passed, but my mother says that he's changed his mind on his deathbed.
[but that said:]I do miss my children though. I had twins, a boy and a girl. My greatest joys. I know she and my husband will watch over my children well while I'm gone.
Also, the dragonlet sounds very cute. I wonder if they exist here? I've yet to see a sea here but surely there must be one somewhere. Were you a sailor?
no subject
and even when she continues into a description... well, there is a lot to unpack there, isn't there? the implication they love her because it is expected, to love their mother, but not necessarily for who she is. she has expectations; how to act, what is proper and what isn't, he assumes, given that she said her mother would disapprove of menial work. "disappointed in my brothers" — but not her, not helaena. her favourite child, then? because they both share the burden of being queen without wanting to, or for a different reason?
and then there's the mention of the half-sister — by this point, he already knows that to mean rhaenyra. it gives him insight into how it all started: so rhaenyra was supposed to rule, and then her father changed her mind about succession. did the lady alicent lie about it? had it really happened? he has only speculation. ]
I see. I'm sorry, but I can't help but be curious - why would she be disappointed in your brothers... but not you, I gather?
I believe I've met your half-sister. She seems a formidable woman.
I don't know, but I will keep an eye out while I'm at the docks. And yes, I was. You can ask your brother for more details.
[ because, so far, everyone else but aemond thinks him a cook on a merchant ship — but this puts him in a rather awkward position here, not entirely certain if he can tell helaena the truth, and yet equally uncertain whether lying to her would mean betraying aemond's trust. so he will leave the choice in aemond's hands — to either tell helaena the truth about him being a pirate... or continue the story he's told so many others, the story aemond had agreed to support. ]
no subject
The men of our family have dragon's blood that runs very hot. Our mother is not Targaryen, so I don't think she quite understands. I am different from my brothers in every way, so she feels closer to me.
But it's alright. I have forgiven them both already, for what has happened and for what will.
[Appropriately ominous statement out of the way, she continues:] Be mindful. Not of Rhaenyra exactly, she is an honorable woman despite what rumors might say. What Aemond might say. But be mindful of telling Aemond that you have met or are meeting with her. He will get upset. But I do urge you to get to know us all.
no subject
First and foremost... I am sorry that you have been made to feel like how you are is somehow not a good thing to be. There's nothing bad about being different, my lady.
But thank you for answering me honestly. I will remember that. [ that she did so, and all that she said, too. ]
I haven't told him that, yet. But I wouldn't lie to him, either.
[ he writes the words, and only after stops to think that he means them — which is frankly terrible, but he's going to circle back to that later. for now, ]
I swore to stand by him. My loyalty doesn't waver because I have talked to your sister. I'm only trying to understand the whole picture so that I might help him better. He will see the truth of that... eventually.
no subject
[Huh. She's not sure anyone's ever said that to her before and she's not entirely sure what to do with that or the emotion it causes, so she's going to do the proper Targeryen thing and box it up somewhere to ignore.]
What has he told you about what happened?
no subject
but lord, that sure is a question. ]
Not much. Rather, not as much as I suspect there is to tell. That Rhaenyra is the firstborn, that she was supposed to rule, but your brother was crowned instead. That to rule she needs to be rid of all of you, and so war is unavoidable. That just about sums it up.
no subject
I suppose that is true enough. Her anger is understandable about it. I don't believe she'd need be rid of all of us. It would be easier if she could set her own pride aside for the sake of the realm itself, but that would be as likely as asking Aemond to do so.
Do not feel the need to embroil yourself in family matters. Here, such things shouldn't matter as much. I'm happy to be content and learn the new things I can. My brother and the rest of my family will have a much harder time of it.
There will be enough time to rush into the inevitable once we are back home. It's nice to take this time away and get better perspective of things, however little it might do.
no subject
And I appreciate you saying so, my lady, as I appreciate you being willing to be rid of the war, here... but as long as my soul is bound to your brother's, I am embroiled in your family matters, whether I want it or not.